Lemmy vs Koopa Troopa

Three hours before the match...

Lemmy: How are you feeling?

Koopa Troopa: Like a winner!

Lemmy: Here, have this.

Koopa Troopa: Thanks for the drink!

Lemmy sighs.

Two hours before the match...

Lemmy: How are you feeling?

Koopa Troopa: Lik a dinner!

Lemmy: Here, have this.

Koopa Troopa: Thank fa the dwink!

Lemmy sighs.

One hour before the match...

Lemmy: How are you feeling?

Koopa Troopa: Lie eh wins!

Lemmy: Here, have this.

Koopa Troopa: Coo dwinkies!

Lemmy sighs.

One minute before the match...

Lemmy: How are you feeling?

'''Koopa Troopa: Duh... zzz...'''

Lemmy: The things I have to do.

Showtime!

'''Roy: Good evening ladies and gentleman! I'm Roy Koopa - you love me! - and I'm subbing today for last week's ref, who, unfortunately, had to step out.'''

Paratroopa: (in a moving garbage truck) ...I'm tired...

'''Roy: Anyway, out with the old, in with the new! Even though I QUIT last week, there's no hard feelings here, oh no!'''

Lemmy: Only because all he has are fists.

Bandit: I love my life!

'''Roy: Now we are ALL going to enjoy this! In the red corner is Lemmy; in the blue corner we have that fine friend, the punching fiend, the grand master fighter, Koopa Troopa!'''

Bandit: Ok, start, I'm outta here!

Lemmy looks at Koopa Troopa and he faints.

Lemmy: My work here is done!

'''Roy: What?! No! Now you have to deal with me!'''

'''Roy jumps through the window of the announcing booth and lands in the arena. But the fumes from Koopa Troopa's gaping maw cause him to pass out.'''

Lemmy: Always carry a noseclip.

'''Bandit: Dang! I didn't even get time to steal anything!'''

Karma Koopa: Where's my pocketbook?!

Smithy: Where's my golden tooth?!

'''Mario: Wah! Some one stole my pants!'''

Luigi: ...You never had them...

Bandit: Whoopsie daisy!

Bandit runs out of the arena with Karma, Smithy, Mario, and others behind him.

Lemmy: Guess I'll go too.

Roy suddenly recovers.

'''Roy: Not so fast! You won (ick!), so who ya gonna battle next week?'''

Lemmy: Well I-

Roy: Sumo Brother, nice choice!

Lemmy: But-

Roy: Until next time, this is that hunk Roy signing off!

Roy leaves.

Lemmy: ...Ah, what's the use?

Lemmy shrugs and leaves.